Nearly 3 months post competition and my body is more like it should be. We call this the maintenance phase. It means I have put about 10-15 pounds back on. So I went to purchase a pair of shorts yesterday and found the ones I wanted, but they were out of size 6. I debated with myself for a solid 15 minutes before purchasing the size 4 over the size 8 and telling myself, you can return them tomorrow.
Took them home, decided to try them on and 'get it over with' and then...they fit. Not going to lie, I was happy dancing. Totally unexpected!! Totally shallow!! Totally thrilled.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Reflections....
Yesterday Taylor and I visited Augustana College. We met with the admissions counselor, the volleyball coach, and toured the campus. This was our second college visit and I am really enjoying the time spent with her and watching her go through this decision process.
I was reflecting upon how different her life experiences have been compared with mine at the same age and how proud I am of her and all of her accomplishments.On the ride home she told me that the admissions counselor asked her about her support system and she told him that it was me that influenced her and inspired her. Can I just say, what an incredible honor?!?!?
Then it reminded me of an essay I had to write last year when I was applying for a scholarship. It was a scholarship offered through the IHSA (Illinois Head Start Association) and the requirements were that you had to be a Head Start employee, parent, or former student and a current full time student. Judges would select a winner, one winner in the state of Illinois, from the essays received from qualified recipients. Another one of those 'what have I got to lose' moments in my life. Here is the essay I submitted and that was chosen making me the winner of the Mary Alice Buchanan Scholarship Award.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend! Own it in style!!
I was reflecting upon how different her life experiences have been compared with mine at the same age and how proud I am of her and all of her accomplishments.On the ride home she told me that the admissions counselor asked her about her support system and she told him that it was me that influenced her and inspired her. Can I just say, what an incredible honor?!?!?
Then it reminded me of an essay I had to write last year when I was applying for a scholarship. It was a scholarship offered through the IHSA (Illinois Head Start Association) and the requirements were that you had to be a Head Start employee, parent, or former student and a current full time student. Judges would select a winner, one winner in the state of Illinois, from the essays received from qualified recipients. Another one of those 'what have I got to lose' moments in my life. Here is the essay I submitted and that was chosen making me the winner of the Mary Alice Buchanan Scholarship Award.
As I sit down to write this essay, I am struck by how difficult it is to write about myself. I should be telling everyone my story, sharing with the world, not just my failures, but my successes. It has been a long road from there to here and I have accomplished much.
Growing up in Michigan, I was the oldest child of an alcoholic father and co-dependent mother. I went to Head Start as a child. We lived in public housing, received food stamps, benefitted from a medical card and to this day I can’t stand to see a block of cheese, dried milk, or tuna casserole. I was the peacemaker among my siblings, the responsible one in my family, the good student in school; your typical oldest child. But certain things were just a given. I would hopefully graduate from high school, get a job, and move out when I was 18. So I did.
I have lived on my own since I was 18 years old and worked since I was 16. When I was 22 I started working at a sales company and worked for that company for 10 years. This was my first long term job, the beginning of my understanding of what a career could be. The company closed after 10 years and I was unemployed for the first time ever. As I stood in the unemployment office, I saw a sign that would, again, change my world. It was a program for dislocated workers and I qualified. Essentially, they told me I could go to school for two years and they would pay for it. I chose to get my Associates in Child Development and returned to school full-time. At this time I was married with 3 children. Soon after starting school I began working full time in a day care. At the age of 36, I graduated with my AAS in Child Development, a 3.8 GPA, and High Honors. I am the first child in my family to graduate from college.
I knew, from doing my observations for school, that I wanted to come and teach at Head Start and ‘pay it forward’ as they say. I had been blessed by this program that had given me the means to return to school and I wanted to pass that on to others.
Soon after starting at Head Start as an Assistant Teacher I decided to return to school and complete my Bachelor’s Degree. I have been attending Kendall College full time for two years now. I am completing my Bachelors in Early Childhood Education and already thinking about what I might pursue my Masters in.
It has been demanding of my time and my energy but every time I look into the eyes of my 3 daughters I know I am doing the right thing for all of us. And even if I am not comfortable talking about my accomplishments with others, I am proud of myself and where I have been and what I have become.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend! Own it in style!!
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Back in the saddle....
So I took 2 months off after the competition, went to California and then Florida, spent some amazing time with Mike and my mom, and am currently enjoying the remainder of my summer vacation with the girls. Life is good.
Today, July 7, 2011, I begin my new meal plan and my new journey. I intend to compete again next Summer and therefore will spend the next 9 months building up my muscle, staying lean, and eating well! I will keep track of my journey here, along with other ramblings and glimpses into my world.
Two days ago a young woman named Casey Anthony was found not guilty of killing her 2 year old daughter Caylee. While this doesn't pertain to me personally, as a mother, teacher, and member of the community as a whole it sickens me. But then I pause to think and realize that regardless of what a jury may determine, not convicted does not equal innocence and whomever is guilty of this horrible crime will undoubtedly suffer. No person can commit such a crime without being haunted for the rest of whatever their life may be. And it strikes me that this situation is like so many others in our daily lives: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Those are the things I desire in my life; serenity, courage, and wisdom.
On a brighter note, I was recently chosen to be a member of the Big Ten Fan Council. As an avid, passionate, die hard, some may say crazy, college football fan this is so EXCITING for me. I will be attending the Kickoff Luncheon on July 29th in Chicago where I will meet all of the media people from the Big Ten Network, and all of the Head Coaches from the conference and a select group of players. How did I stumble upon this opportunity? I saw a posting from the Big Ten Network saying they were accepting applications. I thought, "why not???" But then I heard that voice in my head saying...why? what will you say? you don't know enough about football. you will feel uncomfortable. you will be a nervous wreck. don't be silly. AH-HA moment....nothing ventured, nothing gained. I filled out the application and submitted it. I had NOTHING to lose. And then I was chosen. :) Lesson here: Stop living in your comfort zone, challenge yourself to step outside of it. You are capable of so much more than you give yourself credit for!
Feels good to be back.....
Today, July 7, 2011, I begin my new meal plan and my new journey. I intend to compete again next Summer and therefore will spend the next 9 months building up my muscle, staying lean, and eating well! I will keep track of my journey here, along with other ramblings and glimpses into my world.
Two days ago a young woman named Casey Anthony was found not guilty of killing her 2 year old daughter Caylee. While this doesn't pertain to me personally, as a mother, teacher, and member of the community as a whole it sickens me. But then I pause to think and realize that regardless of what a jury may determine, not convicted does not equal innocence and whomever is guilty of this horrible crime will undoubtedly suffer. No person can commit such a crime without being haunted for the rest of whatever their life may be. And it strikes me that this situation is like so many others in our daily lives: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Those are the things I desire in my life; serenity, courage, and wisdom.
On a brighter note, I was recently chosen to be a member of the Big Ten Fan Council. As an avid, passionate, die hard, some may say crazy, college football fan this is so EXCITING for me. I will be attending the Kickoff Luncheon on July 29th in Chicago where I will meet all of the media people from the Big Ten Network, and all of the Head Coaches from the conference and a select group of players. How did I stumble upon this opportunity? I saw a posting from the Big Ten Network saying they were accepting applications. I thought, "why not???" But then I heard that voice in my head saying...why? what will you say? you don't know enough about football. you will feel uncomfortable. you will be a nervous wreck. don't be silly. AH-HA moment....nothing ventured, nothing gained. I filled out the application and submitted it. I had NOTHING to lose. And then I was chosen. :) Lesson here: Stop living in your comfort zone, challenge yourself to step outside of it. You are capable of so much more than you give yourself credit for!
Feels good to be back.....
Sunday, May 8, 2011
That's a wrap....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbrX8gT-Ef0
And so it ends. This video is of my routine last night. The evening performance. The finale. My exhale moment.
The morning started with coffee...and then I was in the high school auditorium, surrounded by 170 strangers all chasing the same dream as I; this moment, this competition. Some newbies much like myself, others exuding experience and calm confidence. I had a plan for the day provided by my trainer and I focused on it and followed it. Warm up at this time, eat at this time, pump up at this time....and then the call. "Women's Masters Bodybuilding line up."
So there we were, 8 competitors in a line, sizing each other up, but trying to look like we weren't sizing each other up. I wasn't the biggest or the smallest, the shortest or the tallest, and with one glance I knew I was definitely not going to win. We were led out the door and up to the stage where we waited our turn. As we walked out into the lights, I took a very deep breath. As I left the safety of the curtains and saw the judges, the crowd, the X marked where we all would stand, I knew fear. A fleeting thought...I could just turn around right now and walk right out. Yet my feet proceeded, I took my spot in line, and began to hit the poses I had practiced for months, albeit along side 7 strangers this time rather than the comfort of my teammates. It was all a blur, went quick, my mind raced but my heart raced faster. And I knew that I was not as tight as I should be, my legs were not as wide as I wanted them to be, my arms, my abs, my calves. Overwhelming would not do it justice. I tried to smile and my mouth shook more than my muscles straining to flex. Then we were done....A video would later let me know that this entire process took all of 4 minutes. Somehow it seemed much longer and shorter all at the same time.
But I was done and there I was in the lobby, facing my biggest fan and safe again. And I was proud of myself and what I had done. I shed tears of relief...but the satisfaction of what I had accomplished moved me as well. And his smile spoke more than any words. We had worked very hard, together, on this goal and we had done well!
The competition is divided into a morning session, where the judging takes place and an evening session, which is geared toward entertaining. In between contestants go home or back to their hotels to eat, sleep, whatever they choose to pass this time. I ate a small portion of chicken and some brown rice, tried to sleep, and then began to practice my routine.
THIS routine?!?!?!? Performing a routine set to music very nearly was a deal breaker for me. And I had still not convinced myself I could do it. I certainly knew, and so did everyone involved with this endeavor, that I despised the very idea of having to do it. But when the question became compete or not...the answer was always the same; compete. So that was all that was left of my journey...the routine. I practiced it alone, over and over. Listening to the words, connecting the movements and poses with each word that led to a transition, yet again. "60 seconds of music" I told myself. "It's one minute out of your life" I repeated like a mantra. And I practiced as I had for the last 10 weeks.
And again I found myself in the auditorium with those same strangers. Many more relaxed now. The judging was over, this was all for fun, no more stress. Little did they know. Now I would have to take that stage alone and perform. Perform?!?!? I was not a performer, much less on a stage alone in front of a panel of judges and an audience. I stood in front of the mirror and went through each motion, repeating the lyrics from the song with each movement, each transition. I didn't dare visualize it because all of my visuals leading up to this were of a variety of disasters. So I practiced...until again I was called.
Up to the stage we went again. Same path, same 8, same destination. This time we went out one by one. Then my name was called....and again my feet went even though I didn't want them to go. Right to the X, and I took my spot...and I heard the cheers from the friends and family who had come to support me and then I heard my music. And my body began to perform the routine it had practiced and then I was smiling. Smiling and performing, as if it was indeed my destiny. 60 seconds later I walked off the stage exuding the confidence of a person who had just chased down their dream and made it a reality, carried through on the cheers of family and friends both near and far who had showered me with support.
I smiled all the way off that stage, all the way down to that auditorium, barely noticing the strangers, all the way to the locker room, and then up to the lobby...where the first face I saw was again my biggest fan. And again I shed tears of relief and accomplishment and again I saw a look of pride on his face that matched the feeling inside of me beat for beat.
And then the rest of my family, my girls!!, my friends and coworkers! My girls bearing handmade signs and wearing t-shirts: Strong is the New Beautiful, Doing It!, and a custom made tshirt with the name of this blog and "Thats My Mom" carefully ironed on! Surrounded by all of these people who had seen me through this journey, each struggle, each triumph...my journey was complete.
No more waiting to exhale...
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Reflections of a journey well traveled...
Yep. I am wide awake at 5:00 am and smiling. Today has arrived in full fashion. Had to enjoy some quiet time before the natives wake. Nothing like relishing in my thoughts, listening to some music, and sipping just a bit of coffee.
Today is the day. I have spent 2 years in a gym transforming my body for this very moment. I didn't know it then, but it was the plan. I spent two years proving to myself that I was strong and capable. I spent two years learning that the word 'no' was not empowering but to throw on the weights and TRY until one day it moved!!!
I spent the last 17 weeks nourishing my body with clean, whole, healthy foods so that my muscles could grow and the body fat would shed away and I could get to this moment. I
said 'no' to candy, cakes, breads, pastas, dairy, sugar free gum, any garbage that would not fuel my body. I followed a strict nutrition plan without fail to get to this moment.
Not once did I think about quitting. Some days I had to give more than I thought I could to make this happen. For the last three weeks my family has sacrificed so that I could get here.
And here I am. Deep breaths and big smiles. I want to radiate the confidence I feel when I take that stage today! I want the hard work and dedication to be on display for all to see... I want to savor it all and then walk away saying "BOOM! That just happened!" :)
No matter what the paper results say from this competition, this I know: As I sit here this morning, drinking a few sips of coffee and listening to some great music, I know in my heart, in my very soul, that I have already WON! Once again I beat the odds, knocked down the obstacles that were in front of me, spread my wings and FLEW!
"Shame when the ones who have wings don't use them to fly!"
Today is the day. I have spent 2 years in a gym transforming my body for this very moment. I didn't know it then, but it was the plan. I spent two years proving to myself that I was strong and capable. I spent two years learning that the word 'no' was not empowering but to throw on the weights and TRY until one day it moved!!!
I spent the last 17 weeks nourishing my body with clean, whole, healthy foods so that my muscles could grow and the body fat would shed away and I could get to this moment. I
said 'no' to candy, cakes, breads, pastas, dairy, sugar free gum, any garbage that would not fuel my body. I followed a strict nutrition plan without fail to get to this moment.
Not once did I think about quitting. Some days I had to give more than I thought I could to make this happen. For the last three weeks my family has sacrificed so that I could get here.
And here I am. Deep breaths and big smiles. I want to radiate the confidence I feel when I take that stage today! I want the hard work and dedication to be on display for all to see... I want to savor it all and then walk away saying "BOOM! That just happened!" :)
No matter what the paper results say from this competition, this I know: As I sit here this morning, drinking a few sips of coffee and listening to some great music, I know in my heart, in my very soul, that I have already WON! Once again I beat the odds, knocked down the obstacles that were in front of me, spread my wings and FLEW!
"Shame when the ones who have wings don't use them to fly!"
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
The Meal Plan from Hell.....
Well I am 10 days out! 10 days from taking the stage! 10 days from performing that routine! 10 days from finishing what I started! i have never felt stronger, more resilient, so unstoppable and capable of achieving anything! I now know that I can ABSOLUTELY do anything I set my mind to!
I have been traveling for over a week now and I have followed every detail of my meal plan and workouts. I have not once strayed from the path. There are no circumstances which could provoke me to risk what I have worked so hard to achieve. I am 100% completely proud of myself! I don't think I have ever felt this way before. It is a feeling that I want to experience completely. And cherish.
Now for that meal plan! I have my eats for SHOW WEEK! Here goes:
Monday - Wednesday
Breakfast: 1/3 c steel oats/3 oz white fish
Snack: 3 oz white fish/1c brussel sprouts
Lunch: 3 oz white fish/1c asparagus
Snack: 2 egg whites (1/3c quinoa on Wed.)
Dinner: 3 oz white fish/1c asparagus
Thursday:
Breakfast: 1/3c steel oats/3 oz white fish
Snack: 3oz white fish/1c asparagus
*after 1:00 only 8 oz of water rest of day
Lunch: 3 oz white fish
Snack: 1/3 potato
Dinner: 3 oz white fish/1/3 sweet potato
Friday:
Breakfast: 1/3c steel oats/3 oz white fish
Snack: 1/3 potato
Lunch: 3 oz white fish/1/4c quinoa
Snack: 1/3 potato
Dinner: 1/3 potato 1/3 sweet potato
*8 oz water for entire day drank before dinner. No water after dinner.
Saturday: ((SHOW DAY))
Breakfast:
1/3 HOT steel oats/ 1/2 BANANA
20 min before prejudging:
1/2 sweet potato
Pump up 10 min after eating
Before evening show:
1 glass water
4 oz chicken breast
1/3c brown rice
Compete
Can you say: BUFFALO WILD WINGS!!!!
So...there we have it. I drink at LEAST a gallon of water every day! The no water will be the hardest part! But it is all temporary and I cannot wait to see the changes my body will make when I go through this week. I am surprised how much of this is about nutrition. It is easily 90% of the equation! And I hope that by reading this blog you can see that this lifestyle is far from glamorous...it is all about sacrifice, hard work, commitment.
10 days!!! Time to finish!!
I have been traveling for over a week now and I have followed every detail of my meal plan and workouts. I have not once strayed from the path. There are no circumstances which could provoke me to risk what I have worked so hard to achieve. I am 100% completely proud of myself! I don't think I have ever felt this way before. It is a feeling that I want to experience completely. And cherish.
Now for that meal plan! I have my eats for SHOW WEEK! Here goes:
Monday - Wednesday
Breakfast: 1/3 c steel oats/3 oz white fish
Snack: 3 oz white fish/1c brussel sprouts
Lunch: 3 oz white fish/1c asparagus
Snack: 2 egg whites (1/3c quinoa on Wed.)
Dinner: 3 oz white fish/1c asparagus
Thursday:
Breakfast: 1/3c steel oats/3 oz white fish
Snack: 3oz white fish/1c asparagus
*after 1:00 only 8 oz of water rest of day
Lunch: 3 oz white fish
Snack: 1/3 potato
Dinner: 3 oz white fish/1/3 sweet potato
Friday:
Breakfast: 1/3c steel oats/3 oz white fish
Snack: 1/3 potato
Lunch: 3 oz white fish/1/4c quinoa
Snack: 1/3 potato
Dinner: 1/3 potato 1/3 sweet potato
*8 oz water for entire day drank before dinner. No water after dinner.
Saturday: ((SHOW DAY))
Breakfast:
1/3 HOT steel oats/ 1/2 BANANA
20 min before prejudging:
1/2 sweet potato
Pump up 10 min after eating
Before evening show:
1 glass water
4 oz chicken breast
1/3c brown rice
Compete
Can you say: BUFFALO WILD WINGS!!!!
So...there we have it. I drink at LEAST a gallon of water every day! The no water will be the hardest part! But it is all temporary and I cannot wait to see the changes my body will make when I go through this week. I am surprised how much of this is about nutrition. It is easily 90% of the equation! And I hope that by reading this blog you can see that this lifestyle is far from glamorous...it is all about sacrifice, hard work, commitment.
10 days!!! Time to finish!!
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