Tuesday, April 19, 2011

The blog I didn't wanna write, but knew I needed to...

Okay so as my weight drops and my body fat drops and I get closer to goal there is a down side. I have been trying to ignore it but today I heard two of the 'you are too skinny' comments and I know there will be more to come.

Last March, March 16 2010, my father passed away after a long term illness. Long story short he was hospitalized and after surgeries that were unsuccessful, we had to consent for them to take him off of oxygen and wait for him to stop breathing. When he passed away he was completely emaciated. He lived the last couple of years of his life nothing but skin and bones.

There have been a couple of times when I have caught a glimpse of myself and it was like being kicked in the stomach. I could see so much of him in me. I literally had to stop and regroup. The leaner I get the more it happens.

This journey of mine has everything to do with him. Watching someone you love so much waste away to nothing over years is beyond words. I channel the inner strength he gave me to build a strong healthy body, to say "F YOU!" to the disease and side effects that took him from me.

This entire journey is dedicated to my daddy. He taught me how to conquer my demons, to fight for a better life, to never give up on yourself.

One year and two months after losing him I will stand on a stage in a high school auditorium a warrior. A winner. A daughter.

3 comments:

  1. wow! how powerful! WTG! for sticking to what you know is best for you and going for it with everything you have! I cannot wait to hear about your comp.! You are definitely a winner already!

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  2. Tabitha, It has been wonderful following your journey and being on your team! We must focus on what we feel inside and forget those comments that come from people that only see our exteriors! Your daddy would be very proud of you and will be with you in spirit as you command and take control of the stage on May 7th! Congratulations on the many victories you have achieved on this journey. It has been so fun getting to know you!! Congrat's!!

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  3. This makes me well up with tears. Your daddy will be proud of you as he watches you from above on that stage! He'll be saying with pride, "That's my girl!" What a legacy he left you and now you are spreading it to others. Your dad must have been a great dad because you are a top notch woman!

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