Okay so as my weight drops and my body fat drops and I get closer to goal there is a down side. I have been trying to ignore it but today I heard two of the 'you are too skinny' comments and I know there will be more to come.
Last March, March 16 2010, my father passed away after a long term illness. Long story short he was hospitalized and after surgeries that were unsuccessful, we had to consent for them to take him off of oxygen and wait for him to stop breathing. When he passed away he was completely emaciated. He lived the last couple of years of his life nothing but skin and bones.
There have been a couple of times when I have caught a glimpse of myself and it was like being kicked in the stomach. I could see so much of him in me. I literally had to stop and regroup. The leaner I get the more it happens.
This journey of mine has everything to do with him. Watching someone you love so much waste away to nothing over years is beyond words. I channel the inner strength he gave me to build a strong healthy body, to say "F YOU!" to the disease and side effects that took him from me.
This entire journey is dedicated to my daddy. He taught me how to conquer my demons, to fight for a better life, to never give up on yourself.
One year and two months after losing him I will stand on a stage in a high school auditorium a warrior. A winner. A daughter.